I realize that one of the cards of the Major Arcana in a Tarot deck embodies and represents very much of what kind of a woman I want to be. Not the whole picture, but she is one of the aspects of womanhood I’d like to be. The card I am talking about is of course – the Empress.
There are a few qualities and skills that I attribute to the Empress, on a rather large scale. Fertility is one of them. Wealth and wellness are couple of others. Content is yet another.
When I speak of fertility, I don’t necessary think about the ability to give birth to children. Fertility can mean so much else (like most of the words/concepts I have presented so far), and in this context I look at it as the ability to reap what one sow. And it’s not only about putting thought to action, and it’s not only about sowing a seed. It’s about the expectation what you sow will grow and become.
I am sorely lacking in this specific area. I have many tremendous ideas, but that’s where they stay. Ideas. They never get to grow, because I don’t know how to get there, and I usually doubt that I am capable.
Now, discussing the kind of woman I want to be – these are qualities I’d love to have. I want to be the kind of woman who sows and reaps the rewards. I want to be the vessel and channel of a neverending source of wellness and wealth. I don’t need to be megarich – that’s not what I’m talking about. But I would like to be the kind of woman who is never lacking in material life.
This quality/skill is purely mental, and is re-placing the idea that I am a victim and need to be taken care of. The opposite is that I have all the wealth and wellness I want. It has to start somewhere, and my head and heart are the best places to begin with.
In fact, these are qualities I’d like to be almost magical, if not actually magical. I’ve never been a person who felt I can really benefit from who I am or what I do. I’d like to experience that, so I’ll be welcoming the idea that I am all of that, and more, and work on actually becoming this woman who attracts, sows and reaps as she pleases. And for anyone wondering, I’m not particularily greedy. I just want to live a good life – what I, personally, find good, that is. And it’s not that much, but I do want it. And I want to be content.
And speaking of which, I would also like to be the kind of woman who lives life the way she wants to without hindrances. I am most definitely not there yet, since the changes I would like to do with my life are… uncountable, and my means of creating them limited (at least from my Victim point of view).
I have never really identified with the Empress (who could also be recognized in the Viking godess Freya), but I would like to. Therefore, I hereby announce my invitation to all this creative and fertile energy, into my new idea of who I am as a woman, and into my life.
And that, my friend, concludes today’s pile of thoughts on what kind of a woman I want to transform into. As you can see, there is quite a bit to go, but as I move along on this journey I realize it’s both less and more than I thought at the start. It’ll be extremely interesting to see where I end up.
Bring it on! ♥