Continuing on the journey of describing what kind of woman I want to be, in the prcess of transforming my old archetype of the Victim into – something else (which I don’t really have a name for, yet). Today, I am going to adress another layer of what I feel represents this new idea of womanhood that I want to be.
Strength is another word that holds various meanings to it. When I think about strength, I’m not thinking of physical strength. No, I am thinking about mental, intellectual and emotional strength. I want to be a woman who has the strength to maintain that core of rebar I wrote of earlier, who has the strength to stand up for herself, to carry that pride.
But also to look herself in the mirror and recognize all parts of herself and deal with them. Being strong enough to own my own problems – and that’s quite something. Strength means fearless, and I want to be that. Strong, without fear. Strong enough to withstand external influences that leads in directions are not in my favour.
I also want to be strong enough to hold up that balance I wrote of earlier, the tranquility I want in my life. None of these things means life has to be boring, but I do want peace and quiet.
Control is another word that comes to mind when I think about strength. In a Tarot deck, the Main Arcana card Strength shows a woman taming a lion. Being strong enough to tame and control that which is wild and untamed is a quality I’d love to have.
I would love to be a woman who manages to hold herself up with all the good and the bad. Strong enough to maintain that core, strong enough to not let anyone else force her to be something she is not.
I would love that to be me.
And you know what? I bet there are people who know me, who would say that I am many parts of this already. Not everything – yet, but parts. And when I write it down, I realize they may be right.
There are of course some of these things I need to work on. But I’ll be damned if it’s not myself I am, to quite the extent, am describing. I didn’t realize that – I thought I was going to figure out some kind of dream scenario of who I want to be, but… damn. Wow. 😮
The posts following this one may be different, though. I know certain areas where I sorely lack, and have been lacking for many years. I’ll write more about those in future posts, but so far – I’m impressed.
Just how cool is that? 😀