And this rings true in every direction, all at once. Especially when it comes to this kind of work. It’s been a while since I started reading the book Practical shamanism. A guide for walking in both worlds, by Katie Weatherup, and there are several reasons for this.
Partly, my bipolar disorder disturbs my concentration and focus to read (since a number of years back), so I find it hard to focus on what I read. Partly, I think that the shamanic work I did for myself earlier this year needed some time to set deep within me, before I could go on.
I have at least two more books that I’ve begun reading, but never got around to finish (due to same lack of focus and concentration). I even cheated on my financial situation and ordered two more books, although I really shouldn’t. I say that with a mischievous face, because it’ll do me good, although I really shouldn’t…
Anyway; the point to which I am very slowly getting at, is that knowledge really is power. I notice quite a lot of things that happen in me when reading. Partly; it’s good fun learning about things that are possible to achieve with shamanic work. It’s also nice to, step by step, give form to the shamanic person you want to be.
But what I enjoy most of all, is remembering all the things I have done as a child and while growing up. Remembering this, I realize I’ve probably been practicing shamanism (or at least something very similar) for a very long time without even realizing it.
And by remembering, there are so many things inside me that begin waking up again. Like I’ve been telling you before; I’ve spent the last ten, twelve or so, years, being in very bad shape due to my bipolar disorder. It has stripped me naked of exactly everything that has to do with spiritual work, and thus not served me at all. Now that I am awakening again, I realize that this is what I need to be the best version of myself that I could possibly be.
Do I expect this to be true every second of every day for the rest of my life? No, I don’t. I expect this to be wibbly-wobbly. I expect to loose track every now and then. I expect to be swallowed by my own darkness from time to time. I am human, after all.
The book I am reading now has a very practical approach to shamanism, which I like. The chapter I just finished deals with practicing shamanism for personal use. Personal growth is another way of saying it. This is exactly what I am looking for – I have no intention whatsoever, to become a shaman. I don’t want to be professional. I don’t want to heal other people – at least not as long as I’m so busy healing myself.
What I do want to do – I realized this just today, actually, is to be the ground zero of positive ripple effects. For example; when I end up in the forest the way I want to live, I want my little corner to flourish. I want that to spread outwards – that the forest itself begins to flourish in growing circles with me in the midst.
I also want this to be true with people. I want to be spread positive ripples around me wherever I go, just by being. I don’t want to be that middle-aged spiritual woman who spreads clichés and too positive memes on Facebook all day long. I just want people to feel good around me, and that they want to keep spreading that feeling.
I really do appreciate the fact that I am very visual. I understand things at my best when they are presented to me through images – visual or metaphores. What that does – for me, is that a very large amount of work gets done in a very short time, because it happens automatically.
Is it enough? Well, no, probably not. Depending on what “enough” means. But, like I said, lots of work get done automatically without me having to work very hard for it. One line of text, if written properly, creates a ripple effect of associations, the understanding of patterns et cetera, and it expands very quickly for me.
So – knowledge is power.
I suspect I’ll be coming back to these books for reflections and other stuff. Welcome back to find out what I’m up to. 🙂