I’m not one prone to believing that deities exist or that any human can communicate with said deities. I just don’t. I do, however, believe in attracting certain energies and using that energy for whatever goal at that given moment. It’s just that I usually prefer not to call that specific energy something. Lately, however, some new ideas on the matter has arisen.
I’ve been writing a little about the difficulties I have entering a shamanic journey. Few days ago, I realized why this is. I live in a middle-sized city in Sweden, and there are people – everywhere. With the city comes lots of people, lots of stress, lots of negative energy. All this is one clutter of a reason as to why I find it so hard to journey. I just – can’t seem to get in. There is something blocking me quite effectively, and it’s driving me mad.
So it seems to me that until I reach my biggest goal of all, which is living in the forest with no neighbours, I’ll have to do my shamanic work in some other way. Now, don’t get me wrong, my work is very slow. I don’t do this as much as I’d like, which I attribute to the lack of clean energy and direct access to it, and the power of earth. The city is in the way, and I really do feel that I need to get out of it. As soon as possible.
Now, there are quite a number of things that are in the way of my moving into the forest. Mundane stuff, which is highly annoying. However; since I have spent the last couple of years growing and expanding (out of, sort of) from my bipolar disorder (as in; recovering) I am beginning to feel that I’m ready to do some work to improve my life. There’s a shitload of psychotherapeutic stuff in this, which has no place on this blog.
I’m not really sure of where I got the idea to start researching goddesses. Probably remembering a book somewhere in my bookshelves, dealing with moon magic, and also, goddesses. If you read my last post, you’ll remember that I wrote about choosing the darkness instead of fearing it. That’s why I began looking at goddesses on the dark side. The ones I found are from two different cultures, but appear to be pretty much the same energy.
Surely, everyone knows about Kali. The other one I found is a nordic one, fairly equal but not quite, called Hel, or Hela. Goddess of the underworld, she too rather scary looking.
So I am thinking that I shall begin drawing the energy of these two, and use it to change my life. I want to live my life in a certain way, which includes an active shamanic work. But, like I said, I want to do this in the forest. I am sick and tired of people, just as much as living in the city. I want a raw connection to Earth, an equally raw connection to the pets I live with (and will live with), and I want to do the things I love the most and am the best at.
Shamelessly using my own blog to market another of my blogs; I started up a new (guess what – a blog!) one that focuses on how to actually get there. I guess one could say it’s a blog that focuses on the law of attraction and how to make my dream(s) come true. It is in swedish, but can easily be translated into english or a number of other languages.
Find it here >> Shewolf.se
As for the drawing of energy; since I find it so difficult to journey, I am going to use some other means to focus and direct. I found my tarot decks earlier tonight, and will be using them to create a shift of focus in myself, and go from there. Not sure of exactly how yet, but I’ll get there sooner rather than later.
I feel good about this. Perhaps because it has very much to do with how I see myself, where I find myself to be in society, and my lack of need to be on the inside of NORM. It’s exhilarating to finally feel that it’s more than ok, really – necessary, to follow my own path, and not live my life in a certain way because everybody else does.