I just came home from a journey, and this is the first one I have done that was not particularily nice. I would say it was a two parts journey, and where the first part was mainly me feeling lost, the other part was… mainly morbid, actually.

I went in with the intention of continuing my work on my protective energy field – the one with the mirrors. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find my way there, and the path there was very hollow and empty of any spirits or spirit guides. I hoped to pass my garden, but didn’t really get there either. So I figured I would ask to do something else.

I have been planning on clearing my own energy field from any blocks that are there (and there are many) for a while. It is one of those many things that will be done at some point, and since I couldn’t get anywhere else today, I figured I could just as well get started on that.

So, when deciding that, on my very dark path, there was a very bright opening straight ahead, and I saw a figure there who I wonder if it wasn’t my mother. I had no close or good or healthy or loving relationship with her, so I am a bit surprised – but still. She opened a huge whole in the ground, which was also very, very bright, and I had to jump into it.

So, I did, and I stood bathing in bright, white light for a little while until I figured I should jump upwards. I jumped, reached another level which was also bright white, did not really see anyone there either, so I jumped up again.

And that’s where I found the bird. Not the eagle I have met before, but another. Reminded me of a seagull, but I am not sure. The bird was standing still a bit on my left side, and was eating raw flesh. It had blood dripping from its beak. How weird is that – not at all what I would have expected. This bird didn’t really speak at all, but sent me images instead.

Basically, what this bird told me (I think it’s a he) was that to clean up my energy field, I need to eat all the bad stuff I have, and then crap it out. Literally, crap it out. Not necessarily on the toilet in this physical reality we live in, but energy-wise.

So what I did was to… well; start eating. Feeding. Drinking, whatever. At one point I used a straw to suck up the yucky stuff from my emotional, infected wounds. I’m not sure that I actually did finish, really, but at least I consumed as much as I could at that moment.

And then, there was the process of crapping it out. That actually did go physical. I didn’t take a shit, if you want to know, but my stomach rather automatically began moving as if pressing it all down and out through the bottom of my crotch. It was a very weird experience, and quite exhausting onto that.

After a while, I began drawing down energy from above, right through my head and throughout my body. The funny thing is I also saw images of pink and white crystal jewelry, which were also drawn into my body – and going into every single cell, everywhere.

When I was done, in a distance I could see the white rabbit, the eagle and the jester who were all beaming towards me. They didn’t speak directly either, but they told me that this was something I had to do by myself. But they seemed to be very proud of what I did, so I intend to be proud as well.

This was really heavy work. I got myself a headache during this journey, and I also got rid of it. At the moment, my whole body is wasted.

Bloody hell, I rock.


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This is a blog about my spiritual journey. The focus from january 2019 will be on my entering the shaman path. It’s exciting in every way possible, and I cannot wait to experience more.


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