All right, it’s been a week or two since my last post, no? I’ve had time to think a bit, and to start recieving the books I ordered on shamanism. I’ve been listening to some more youtube clips from different people (not that many, in all honesty) and am beginning to form my first impression of how my own practice of shamanism will work.

One of the things I picked up is that whenever you do a shamanic journey, you will (middle) land in your own little secret garden. Or, rather, sacred, but secret works just as well for me. After all, it is mine and I am not letting anyone in there unless I want to – and I most likely won’t want that.

In the recorded (and led) drum journeys I’ve listened to, there’s talk about how to enter whichever nonordinary world, and also the garden or forest you reach first. I don’t relly know what it says about me that I do not recognize myself in any of these descriptions. I don’t really see or experience this magical forest with outworldly rays of sunlight et cetera.

The first thing I saw in my very first journey was very similar to the Siberian tundra. How’s that? And I didn’t go there through a whole in the ground or some other opening through which I could then descend. No, I pictured myself on a very, very high cliff, falling from it and in the fall, being absorbed (in lack of better expressions) by my spirit animal.

Now; I am presently listening to various recorded drum journeys as I spend some time with my water colours. Not only is drums (which I highly appreciate even outside the shamanic experience) very soothing to listen to, they also make it very easy for my mind to just wander. And they did – towards what my secret/sacred garden may or may not look like. As I was listening to shamanic drums specifically, I imagine that whatever images I got of my garden may be more or less accurate – and it is nothing like the few descriptions of what a sacred garden “should” be like.

I don’t mind having a secret/sacred garden, at all. I kinda like the idea of it. What I would prefer, though – and I have noone to ask, really, is that the garden looks like and is created by me rather than being an image presented by someone else. And let me tell you; the garden that I picture is nothing like that sunny, flowery, otherworldly garden I think of when listening to any description of what it may or may not look like.

I guess this is more than typically me. I get a bit confused trying to wrap my selfimage around the shape of what a shaman practitioner should be. I don’t feel like my perception of this, at all.

So I suppose this means that I am going to go my way. My secret/sacred garden will be and look like whatever I bloody well please. 😀 After all; it is a reflection of me, not anyone else. Any other practitioner has their own garden reflecting them.

And, being faithful to myself, I suppose I’ll always be the opposite of whatever is considered correct. I have a tendency of questioning and re-arranging things to suit me better, since I am not particularily traditional in any sense (but in some, quite).

Since I do want to keep my secret/sacred garden quite to myself, I won’t go into what it’s like. It’s not like any other garden – I can tell you that much. It’s going to be very much mine in the sense that I created it and it represents and responds to me. And I really couldn’t care less if it is untraditional or shamanically incorrect. 😀

But I think that’s quite all right, don’t you? 🙂


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This is a blog about my spiritual journey. The focus from january 2019 will be on my entering the shaman path. It’s exciting in every way possible, and I cannot wait to experience more.


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