I am spending a lot of time trying to balance the way I think about the law of attraction with my actual, physical life. This isn’t always easy, but sometimes I get smacked in the forehead and remember that there really are things to feel grateful for. At the moment, the fact that I actually do have very much of what I have wanted for a number of years.

Years ago, I was extremely poor. And I mean it. I didn’t have any money at all, and at the rare occasions I got them, I had to pay every bill that was behind, and then I started all over again. This included the fact that I didn’t have any proper clothes for winter. I had one winter jacket, usually bought second hand or inherited from a friend or similar. Winter shoes; I had none. I was walking in old, worn tennis shoes, slippering my way through snow and ice.

Through the last two or three years, I have managed to  do a few things to improve my life. Among those, I have gotten myself a lot better when it comes to my bipolar disorder. I am, in general, in a much better state now than I was three years ago. With that, I have also managed to start caring about how I look. And from that one pair of tennis shoes that I wore summer, fall, winter and spring until they broke, I now own, I think, eight pair of shoes.

I also happen to have, all of a sudden, the amount of three winter jackets.

I don’t think I’ve ever had three winter jackets before. Ever. Not at the same time.

So when realizing this, I took the opportunity to feel grateful and extremely lucky to have that many shoes and three winter jackets. Which actually is very pleasant, since I have a dog that needs walking several times a day. I very much enjoy having winter jackets suitable for various cold winter days. I love it!

For anyone who hasn’t been truly poor, it might be hard to understand how something like this can give these strong feeling of gratitude. But really, it is the knowledge that you actually have some of the most basic things to live. It’s not too much to ask for, having more than one pair of shoes and at least two winter jackets, I’d say.

Add to that, the fact that I also for the last couple of years have been able to renew my wardrobe completely. I make all of my clothes (including the winter jackets), and I’ve been fortunate (creative) enough to get my hands on fabrics that I actually like rather than getting what I can afford at the time. So I couldn’t be happier that I dress the way I want rather than the way I can afford.

Add also to that, the fact that for the last year I’ve gotten myself large amounts of make up. I woke up one day in january this year realizing I had to have lipstick. I never liked lipstick ever, and all of a sudden I had to have it. And from there, things escalated to wanting full blown face make up (and recently, nail polish).

It’s highly fascinating to see how things evolve and grow without my even realizing it.

So, until next time I post here, I am going to work on remembering these things and that life unfolds without you knowing it – hopefully in ways you’ve conciously asked for.


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This is a blog about my spiritual journey. The focus from january 2019 will be on my entering the shaman path. It’s exciting in every way possible, and I cannot wait to experience more.


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