I have a tendency to interpret and understand things quite literally. I don’t know if it’s due to my bipolar disorder, because I don’t remember having been like this my whole life. But – I am now, and have been for a number of years. That’s why I sometimes feel confused over the things said by, for example, Abraham Hicks.
I know exactly why this is the way it is. It doesn’t really belong here, on this blog, but rather on bipolarblog.se (swedish), but it is definitely worth thinking about and grow from.
What does confuse me is the strong focus on feeling good, which makes me in a very hardcore way focus on re-directing any negative feeling I have, towards something positive instead. I think that this is both good and bad. But I do get confused when I, like I just did, listen to an audio with Abraham where it’s said that negative emotions aren’t wrong, that they add to the contrast which makes it easier for us to reach clarity on what we want, et cetera.
I find it extraordinarily tiresome trying to be something which I’m not necessarily at all times – 100% positive. I do have days where I’m tired, feel low, sometimes I do get depressed (duh – bipolar!) and so on. I don’t mind at all working on keeping a positive mind and attitude, but I don’t think I can do it all the time.
I notice that this was very important to write down. I realize – again, that in doing this whole thing, I need to do it my way. That includes allowing myself not to be overly positive all the time, if I am not. If I feel grumpy, I have to let myself be grumpy. If I feel sad, I need to allow myself the sadness. It doesn’t mean I have to be grumpy or sad forever, but why should I work so hard on turning my back on the way I actually feel, when I can go through it and come out of it feeling better?
So – what I am going to do is to let myself be human. I am going to let myself feel whatever I feel at any given moment. I intend to work on being happy – but since I am human with a physical body, I will suffer from excessive heat (like right now), I will be sad when sad and bad things happen – and that has to be all right. To keep a general positive mind, but allowing emotions to arise whenever they do.
I think I am actually expanding by allowing myself this.