All right, so after my last post about telling a new story, I figured I’d start doing just that – telling new stories about me. How I wish to be percieved by others, how I wish to percieve myself… who I want to be, in general. I’ll be going deeper into other areas of my life in later posts, but for now, I’ll focus on me and who I want to be.
It doesn’t happen very often, but sometimes you see those people where it’s so bloody obvious that they are something special. It shows in how they move, how they dress, their confidence. When I think of these people, it’s usually women, they are usually in their 40s – 50s, and they are absolutely gorgeous.
That’s me, from now on. I just happen to be in my early 40s (42, to be exact), and the rest of it I think I am already, actually. I’ve been wanting to be that kind of woman forever – the kind of woman people turn around to take a closer look at, when she (I) walks down the street downtown.
The kind of woman I’m thinking about usually has a very specific style. I don’t think I have that style, actually – but that’s irrelevant. What is relevant and important is the confidence, how sure I am of myself, how I know my value and how beautiful I am, how I expect respect wherever I go and whomever I meet – and I don’t need to work for it, it’s just there. I want to be absolutely amazing, and I want people to know it. I want my presence to be almost overwhelming, if you don’t know me that well.
I want to be the kind of woman directing my energy very clearly and very sharply to where it is needed. I want to walk down the streets with at least 2 or 3 really, really large dogs (I’m thinking Estrela mountain dogs, really large males) on a leash dangling from my finger, no more than that. And they will walk there perfectly. I want people to utter the word WOW behind my back, and I want to know it and keep walking with a wide smile on my face.
Style-wise, I think I’d like to stay pretty much where I am. One of my best friends recently said in a Facebook group about me that I am some kind of mix between bohemian, some kind of underground/semigothic, and witchy-ish. I think that covers the way I dress and feel, actually – and it’s among the most beautiful things she’s ever said about me. ♥ I was so flattered. 😀
I also want to be the kind of person who really focuses on what I’m good at. In my case, it’d be two things (aside from whomever will be my life partner in the future) – photography and dogs. I believe that I am very good at both of these things, and that’s where I’d like to put my focus. That’s what I’d like to work with – I already spoke of how I want to work with dogs, and with photography I still have some old resistance to come to terms with, but I’ll get there too, in the end.
You know what? First of all – I am really, really enjoying this. Actually, I am enjoying this to the degree where my heart is fluttering inside my chest. I can really see all this in front of me, so I can only believe and trust that it’s going to be this way. And that, let me tell you, makes my heart flutter even more. Butterflies in my belly, in all the best ways possible.
I am going to do this with lots of other areas in my life – being more specific about dogs, photography, love, et cetera. Not too detailed, but to give myself a general idea of what I want. I already have a blog post ready, from another blog that I have, that describes my idea of love very, very well. I’ll post that later tonight or so.
So stay tuned, peeps! 🙂 There are loads of good stuff to come! ♥