Welcome!

This is a blog about my spiritual journey. The focus from january 2019 will be on my entering the shaman path. It’s exciting in every way possible, and I cannot wait to experience more.

 

Feel free to comment and share – I appreciate it.

 

Enjoy!

 

/SMP

Gratitude 180524

Today, I will make an exception from the specifics of things that I am grateful about. Today, I will focus my gratitude on a rather general thing, which I believe pretty much covers everything else. What it is? It’s this moment.

I’ve slept too little all week. I probably should feel more low than I am – because for some reason, I am tired, but feeling very in the moment. And that’s what I am feeling grateful for today.

I’ve come to realize that it is somehow tiresome to find ten things feeling grateful for every day. I see the use of it, but it feels slightly contrived to produce these ten things every day. My previous post about gratitude took me forever to write. I was tired, so that’s one of the reasons for it taking so long, but also because I was having a hard time finding things to feel grateful for.

What I am feeling today (tonight, really) is somewhat different. I am tired in a way that makes me appreciate the moment. I am very much here. I am too tired to care much about the future, and too tired to bother about yesterday. I am here, right now.

Another way of putting it is to say that I feel content. I have everything that I need. I don’t need anything else, even though I may want some things, but there’s quite the difference between needing something and wanting something. And at this very moment, I don’t even feel that I want anything specific.

I realize that the feeling I have right now is due to me being quite tired. But that doesn’t really matter – I like it. It’s like being cradled, really.

It just struck me – I wonder if this has to do with my selfhypnosises!? In one of them, I am telling myself that I am safe, secure and very deeply loved. I wonder if that’s what’s starting to kick in, or if it just is the fact that I am so tired that I couldn’t care less about anything but this very moment.

What a curious idea.

You know, I actually really enjoy the concept of being cradled. It’s a very pleasant feeling to be in. It’s like – in one sense, it’s like being in this inbetween that I wrote about earlier. It’s very peaceful. It’s quiet – and perhaps a bit bubbly. You know, the bubbly sound under water.

This is a state of mind that I wish could be consistent. It is so pleasant being here. It isn’t very far from being receptive and in a recieving mode. It is also like a place of understanding, which doesn’t necessarily come to me on an every day basis. This is what it should be like, always, sort of.

…………….

But there’s my gratitude for today. I am grateful for being in this very moment. For being present. For everything that doesn’t seem to matter right now – no tomorrow, no yesterday.

Just the feeling of being.

 

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